10 Common Reasons for Divorce

Following a 2022 change in the Law, there is now only one ‘ground’ for divorce: the marriage has irretrievably broken down. This change removed the element of blame associated with divorce. Today, no one needs to be “in the wrong”. As divorce lawyers, we come across many reasons for a marriage’s breakdown. Here are 10 of the most common reasons:

1. The marriage has simply run its course

Sometimes a marriage has simply run its course. People change, just as the world changes, and often the individuals in a marriage today are very different from the people they were when took their vows many decades ago. Children grow up, the mortgage is paid off, and maybe as retirement approaches people start to look more closely at the person they are sharing their life with. A couple may still care for each other, just in a different way to how they used to. Or, they may simply have grown tired of each other.

2. The relationship takes a back seat to everything else

Life is stressful, even when you are in love. Having a strong relationship with your spouse can be a source of strength when you are facing major life stressors like bereavement, illness, or losing your job. You face these challenges together as a couple. However, there are lots of day-today stressors that start to take precedence over focusing on your relationship. These stressors build up over time. Raising children is probably top of the list of things that get in the way of focusing on your relationship. With limited free time (and limited energy!) spending time together as a couple can soon fall by the wayside.

3. Cheating and infidelity

Adultery used to be one of the grounds for divorce before the recent change in the law. It is still one of the most common reasons as to why married couples separate. Where children are involved, or where one parent (usually the wife) gives up work to focus on raising the children, adultery may be ignored for many years. Once the children have left home, or the stay-home parent returns to the workplace, feelings of resentment may return and result in divorce. It may be, of course, that the adultery cannot be ignored and divorce proceedings are commenced whilst the children still live at home.

4. Financial problems

Money can be a major source of stress leading to arguments or even the breakdown of a marriage. Loss of a job, one partner earning a lot more or less than the other, or simply what you each consider priorities for the family’s limited finances, can all lead to resentment that builds and ultimately ends in a breakdown in the marriage.

Financial worries are also one of the most common reasons that people put off getting a divorce. If one partner has given up work to raise the children, then they may have a reduced or even no independent income outside of the family budget. We are here to help. Giving up a career to raise the family is something that needs to form part of any financial settlement, and we will always work to secure your financial security. Indeed, the Courts now consider the non-financial contributions made to the marriage -such as raising the children – and the potential impact this will have had on earning capacity.

5. Addictive behaviour

One of the hardest parts of treating addictive behaviour like drinking drugs, or gambling, is getting an individual to accept that they have a problem. These behaviours rarely become problematic overnight, instead building over months or years. The stress that the problem behaviour causes their spouse, however, will be felt long before the problem reaches a climax. Even if the person with problem behaviour accepts that they need to change, their husband or wife may have had enough and want out of the marriage.

6. Intimacy problems

Whilst the idea that men are from Mars and women are from Venus may not have its origins in science, men and women are very different when it comes to hormones, aging and intimacy. Failure to recognise your differing needs as you age can lead to resentment or infidelity that takes a couple down the path of divorce.

7. Poor communication

Poor communication doesn’t just mean misunderstandings such as who was responsible for loading the dishwasher. When people feel they are not being listened to, they can become resentful and defensive. In turn this leads to a spiral of poor communication, with each partner attempting to prove the other person to be in the wrong.

8. Abusive or controlling behaviour

Abuse is a complex problem that takes many forms. From the outside it’s easy to judge and say that you would never put up with such behaviour. Often the abused partner will stay in the relationship because there are children involved. Sometimes they may be too terrified to try to leave the relationship. Equally, emotional abuse or controlling behaviour is often hidden from the outside world, and the person being abused feels no one will believe them if they speak out. We will always listen to you and will help you escape an abusive relationship.

9. A change of heart

Also known as “buyer’s remorse”. Sometimes people very quickly realise that marriage isn’t how they thought it would be. Unlike previous generations, younger people are more likely to admit that they are not happy and decide to divorce.

10. Parenting differences

Having very different attitudes and beliefs about how your children should be raised can be a major source of conflict within a marriage. It’s all too easy to assume that everyone would want to raise their children the way that we were raised ourselves. Yet couples often haven’t discussed major decisions such as which religion their children will be raised in.

At Pilgrim Hope Solicitors, our Family Law team are committed to handling divorce in a non-confrontational way with the aim of bringing about a swift and fair financial settlement for you. To arrange a free 30 minute consultation, call us on 01257 422 500. Lines are open 8.00 am to 9.00 pm Monday to Friday and 9.00 am to 7.00 pm on weekends.